Earlier today a friend sat down with me griping about a woman that, "gave him that look." I typically do not feed into these rants, but he reminded of a situation I had once witnessed before and I could not help but bring it up here.
Friend: So I was walking down the street and there was this hot ass chick; low cut pink top, super tight leggings with letters on the back, I mean, you couldn't help but look! And then when she catches me staring she looks at ME all pissed off. If you didn't want me to stare you shouldn't have dressed like that! How cant she get mad at ME.
Carmine: She's not mad at you looking, she's mad at you not being attractive.
F: That's dumb.
C: If there was a 45 year old woman 60 lbs overweight you'd be all mad at seeing that, Not because she is wearing that outfit, but because she's not attractive... I am willing to bet if that first girl caught (insert "hot" actor or athlete) staring she'd be overjoyed. It's not the look (game), it's your SMV.
Which brings me back to something I witnessed several years back. I knew a girl, lets call her Jenn. Jenn was a hot little mixed thing who eventually married a professional athlete. I remember being at parties with her and watching her interactions with men. The first man was a tall, muscular, black, well dressed guy.
Man 1: Damn, your teeth are wayyyy too white to be real!
Jenn: What?? You're so dumb!
M1: When did you get them done? Veneers or Lumineers?
J: They are MY TEETH. *playfully hits M1* Where did you get your teeth!
And this conversation went on with similar banter. Later in the night I saw a slightly chubby, nervous, eyes darting everywhere, dressed like the wanna-be-black kid in every movie early 2000's.
Man 2: Your necklace so shiny! It's blinding me!
Jenn: Oh, sorry.
M2: Where did you get it? It's so baller.
J: I don't know, a store.
You can see where this conversation went. I can dish out plenty of examples of how SMV plays into your game, but the lesson to take away is this: SMV trumps Game, every time. Literally both guys approaching Jenn were running the SAME APPROACH, but one could hardly get a word out.
Listen, if the girl is putting enough time into her appearance that you are going to want to approach her, you can rest assure that she is going to want a man that does the same.
So if you have invested countless hours reading and watching game theory / advice, but have done little to improve your fitness, style, or career; stop. Do a push-up, get an appropriate haircut, put in some OT at work. The game is easier when you start in the lead.
-Carmine
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